How to Scare Men Off
We talk a lot about what men want here at Successful Online Dating. I know as a woman, that’s something I spend a fair amount of time thinking about personally, as well as for this site. We question, we research, and we read articles and books.
Sometimes I think we overlook the other side of the coin. If you are scaring a guy off in the first few dates, you will never get to know each other on a deeper level.
Do You Make Men Turn and Run?
There are a few generalized types of women that will make a man turn and run.
The “Biological Clock Ticking” Woman
When men think of ticking, they think of time bombs, about to explode. I understand the whole biological clock thing; I hear mine tick, sometimes louder than others.
What I don’t want is for the first words out of my mouth to be “So, do you want to impregnate me now, or after dinner?” Ok, that might be a bit extreme. However, for daters who are in the later years of fertility, some men will assume you are looking for motherhood more than a man.
The “I Need a Bellhop for My Baggage” Woman
We all have baggage. It’s a fact; we collect bits and pieces every day in life. However, when a man is confronted by a 15 piece matched set of luggage, they get a little frightened. While open communication is important, perhaps you could rent a storage space or get some counseling to help you pack lighter.
The “Just Add a Man” Woman
This kind of woman life would just be perfect if there was a man in it. I think about when I was 5 and got the Barbie dream house. I had Barbie, the pink Corvette, the dinette set, the double bed and even Skipper and the baby.
All I needed was Ken. That worked, because Ken is plastic. Real men don’t fit into a predefined mold that well. If you are just trying to fit a guy into a hole in your life, they will sense it, and hightail it.
The “Let’s Get This Party Started” Woman
Dancing on table tops is great for strip clubs. Not so great as girlfriend material. While I have never heard a guy say, “Gosh, I just wish I could find a really boring girl,” most guys are looking for balance and some substance beneath the lampshade.
The “In Your Pocket 24/7” Woman
Also know as Static Cling Girl. It is so easy to want to be around someone who makes you happy, and you enjoy spending time together. However, if you find yourself handcuffing the guy to you while he’s not looking, inviting yourself along to his weekly “Boys Night Out” or texting to see if he got the text you just sent and following that up with a voicemail, it might be time to back off.
Everyone has some aspects of these women in them. However, finding the balance between your need to boogie down and your need to nest will help you get past the first few dates.
Mandi is a 41 year old single gal in Chandler, Arizona. Never married, she’s been on the dating treadmill for 17 years. She’s dated all different types of guys, come close to marriage twice. Often besieged by friends for dating advice, she enjoys the opportunity to share what she’s learned from personal experience and watching her friends through romance ups and downs.
Mandi has been a computer geek since the early ‘80’s (yes, there were computers back then) and found with the early advent of the Internet that there were boys out there. Starting with the beginnings of AOL and chat rooms and progressing to the online dating sites that exist today she has learned the do’s and don’ts and made plenty of mistakes along the way.
Mandi has had several successful long term relationships, and is still friends with most of her ex-boyfriends.
When not writing for Successful Online Dating she can be found working as a web designer or researching new posts.